Watching Jet Li movies dubbed in Portuguese summons up a strange feeling in me, and so I decided to write you all a poem. The beach has the sun. The beach has the moon. The beach has umbrellas. The beach has chairs. The beach has the sunset. The beach has the sunrise. The beach has snack
A Trip To Cachoeira dos Primatats
Most people associate Rio de Janeiro with its beaches (or women, or drugs, or this song, or Cristo Redentor), but opposite the beaches, Rio is surrounded by jungle (yes, there are monkeys in there). Let us say (and for the record when I start something with "Let us say..." I am inventing a
Finding And Befriending Primates In Rio de Janeiro
Word on the street is that there are monkeys in Rio de Janeiro. Word on the street is that there are monkeys on the street in Rio de Janeiro. Hearing this made me very uneasy at first, given monkeys and I have had a very complicated relationship over the years, but I think that we will finally
A Date in Brazil: How To Not Fuck It Up
Let's say you are asked out on a dinner date by a Brazilian who is way out of your league (not likely, but we are pretending). Now being the incredibly classy person that you are, let us suppose you decide to order a personal pizza and the largest beer available (you are a gluttonous American,
Beer In Brazil: My Introduction To The World Of Cerveja
Beer in Brazil is not the beer I have come to know and love in the United States. I have often heard comments made regarding the lack of a beer drinking culture and the brewing of good beers in the US (said comments are false), but next to Brazilian beer, the been in the United States would have
Flooding in Rio de Janeiro
When the rainy season hits in Rio de Janeiro it seems that the media overseas choose to report floods of biblical proportions that force locals to stockpile animals and supplies into arcs as a last resort for waiting out the storms (I hope Giant Stone Jesus saves us). This is not the case; you
Step 1: Learning The Portuguese At PUC-Rio
8:30am. This is the time intensive Portuguese class begins. Intensive Portuguese class is every day. Intensive Portuguese class lasts until 13:00. Intensive Portuguese class is intensive. Every day I need to take a van (or bus, taxi, horse, walk...or just sleep in) to a campus approximately
A Visit To Corcovado and Cristo Redentor (The Giant Stone Jesus)
Corcovado is the name of a mountain in the middle of Rio de Janeiro. Atop this mountain stands a 130 ft / 40 m tall statue of a man known to some as Jesus, to others as Christ, and to others still as "that guy on the cross". To reach said man you have the option of trekking two hours through a
Brazil Day One: Mistakes At Duty Free
When we finally arrive in Rio de Janeiro I disembark the plane and my newfound friend and mentor, Steve, makes the executive decision to go to duty-free (again), where I am coerced into purchasing two more bottles of Jameson and a six-pack of Red Bull (thanks a lot, Steve). After retrieving our bags