Let us say (and for the record when I start something with “Let us say…” I am inventing a hypothetical situation or event, not implying something actually occurred; however, this fictional story can still be based on actual events, kind of like the Bible; great, I am glad we understand each other now), so let us say that you are sick of staring at ginormous asses in thong bikinis and junk-filled sungas on the beach and would like to opt instead for staring at ginormous asses in thong bikinis and junk-filled sungas at a waterfall in the jungle. Thanks to the glory that is Rio de Janeiro and Brazil, this is possible.
Exploring the jungle (and hunting monkeys) has become a new passion of mine, and I have been thoroughly researching how to best accomplish this.
It seems the karate-monkey infested jungle may prove difficult to tackle, but my course, “Lutando e Capturando Macacos” at the local university, PUC-Rio, should prove helpful. Round one of monkey hunting commenced this past weekend, and I am sad to say that I returned empty-handed.
However, the trip was still one of great success, and of course, extreme sweatiness.
After walking thirty minutes through a very wealthy residential community I arrived at the Cachoeira dos Primatats trailhead. Another thirty minutes of sweaty jungle walking and I had arrived at Cachoeira dos Primatas (a waterfall of sorts). Despite the water being the coldest I have felt in Brazil, standing underneath the falls was extraordinarily refreshing given my sweaty state.
Other highlights included: people slipping on rocks and a spider that easily measured eight inches across with a web that was massive, to say the least; perhaps this is what has been feasting on me during the night and giving me all these goddamn bites.