Most people associate Rio de Janeiro with its beaches (or women, or drugs, or this song, or Cristo Redentor), but opposite the beaches, Rio is surrounded by jungle (yes, there are monkeys in there).
Let us say (and for the record when I start something with “Let us say…” I am inventing a hypothetical situation or event, not implying something actually occurred; however, this fictional story can still be based on actual events, kind of like the Bible; great, I am glad we understand each other now), so let us say that you are sick of staring at ginormous asses in thong bikinis and junk-filled sungas on the beach and would like to opt instead for staring at ginormous asses in thong bikinis and junk-filled sungas at a waterfall in the jungle. Thanks to the glory that is Rio de Janeiro and Brazil, this is possible.
No fires or dogs. Yes snakes and rope swings.
Exploring the jungle (and hunting monkeys) has become a new passion of mine, and I have been thoroughly researching how to best accomplish this.
It seems the karate-monkey infested jungle may prove difficult to tackle, but my course, “Lutando e Capturando Macacos” at the local university, PUC-Rio, should prove helpful. Round one of monkey hunting commenced this past weekend, and I am sad to say that I returned empty-handed.
However, the trip was still one of great success, and of course, extreme sweatiness.
After walking thirty minutes through a very wealthy residential community I arrived at the Cachoeira dos Primatats trailhead. Another thirty minutes of sweaty jungle walking and I had arrived at Cachoeira dos Primatas (a waterfall of sorts). Despite the water being the coldest I have felt in Brazil, standing underneath the falls was extraordinarily refreshing given my sweaty state.
Other highlights included: people slipping on rocks and a spider that easily measured eight inches across with a web that was massive, to say the least; perhaps this is what has been feasting on me during the night and giving me all these goddamn bites.
I itch.
