Getting Drunk On Tap Water In Brazil

No place is perfect, and with every pro must come a con because, folks, this world is a zero-sum game, and there is no winner without a loser (you want to tie all the time? What are you, some Obama-loving socialist?).

So, in Brazil, like many places around the world, the con is that the water that magically comes out of the faucet is not magically recommended for drinking.

We’ve put men on the moon, but we haven’t been able to provide immediately accessible tap water to every household in the world yet – where are our priorities? Well, at least there are workarounds.

The contraption pictured above is attached to the tap in the kitchen over the sink; there are two spouts: one for drinking and one for other miscellaneous tasks for which you may require water (water balloons, growing those little rubbery dinosaurs, diluting bottles of alcohol, washing vegetables, etc.).

Here is where things get tricky – see that lever on the right? The one sticking straight out from the device? If you tilt this lever up – HUZAA! – fresh, filtered drinking water; however, if you tilt it down – certain death awaits those who tempt these water demons.

This is why (I guess) you cannot get free water at restaurants here (instead, you pay what is sometimes more than a beer for a bottle of water). To be honest, the consequences may not be as extreme as the aggressive diarrhea that will befall you from drinking the water in some places, but drinking it is still “not recommended”.