I don’t think I have ever been more content just sitting in a McDonald’s watching obese Americans hasten their impending biological failures.
I myself put down a double quarter-pounder with cheese, a Big Mac, a 10 piece chicken nuggets, a large fry, and a gallon of Dr. Pepper, so I don’t know that I have any right to be talking, but at least I am about to hike 10 miles (bringing the day’s total to 24) to burn off everything I so gluttonously consumed.
But back to McDonald’s.
Having sat here for nearly two hours now, I have observed society’s true use for the fast-food power-house: their bathrooms. Nearly every person walking into the golden arches heads straight to the head (and you know it’s not because they all want to wash their hands), and around 50% of these people then leave without getting anything to eat (probably for the best).
Perhaps the disproportionate bathroom use is a result of this particular McDonald’s (Phelan, California) being right off the freeway (the I-5), or maybe the restroom offering at the Chevron next door is sub par (I have yet to investigate).
Additional observations include: the vast majority of patrons are grossly overweight (as previously alluded to), my order was prepared incorrectly (it was quite slow at the time too), my Gatorade bottles will not fit under the soda machine, and the group at the table next to me does not know that I can understand their Spanish. My cup tells me that some locations have wi-fi, but my dead phone has me listening to the hour-long “McDonald’s Channel” program repeating on the television (it is enough to make me glad to be spending my nights alone in the wilderness).
Not too much else to say except that the air-conditioning is refreshing, and I think that my shoes being off is making a few people uncomfortable (strange: only socks = weird, sandals with entire foot exposed = acceptable – I guess people don’t like socks?). Well, it’s back into the wild now (with hopes that the guy who has been sitting across from me for an hour not eating does not attempt to follow me).
I sincerely hope to never enter a McDonald’s ever again (except to maybe use the bathroom).
