Memorial Day weekend has come once again, and with it, hoards of booze-hungry partygoers will be hitting the beaches of Fire Island for another summer of wasted salaries, dead end relationships, and of course rocket fuel.
I'm familiar with all those other things, but what is a rocket fuel?
If you know what Fire Island is and you have yet to discover rocket fuel, then you're probably a halfway decent person and should get away from the island while you still have the chance. However, if you would like to cause irreversible damage to your liver and friendships with a surefire hangover prescription, then read on.
Rocket fuel is Fire Island's drink of choice, and for good reason. It represents most of the things that the island stands for: drinking in excess, wasteful spending, and experimentation (I'm looking at you Cherry Grove).
Sounds promising.
So how do you get your hands on a rocket fuel?
The easiest way would be to take that overpriced ferry over to Fire Island, find a bar (hopefully not in Ocean Bay Park), and then pay for your rocket fuel which, to your surprise, is twice the price of the (now quite reasonable sounding) ferry ride. That's kind of a lot of work.
Obviously you don't want to return to the failed state that is Fire Island (because the last thing you need is another STI), but what are your alternatives? Order someone to the island to retrieve a rocket fuel for you? Buy an imitation rocket fuel somewhere on Long Island? Give up drinking?
No, you do things yourself; you make your own rocket fuel.
How do you make a rocket fuel? Is it easy? Is there some risk of explosion? Will the ability to concoct a rocket fuel finally make people like me? So many questions. Help!
Over the course of my making literally thousands of rocket fuels (literally, thousands), I have come up with the best rocket fuel recipe imaginable, and I am ready to share this trade secret with you (the anonymous mass of strangers that is the internets).
I know you're thirsty to start forgetting, so here is what you need to make a rocket fuel:
- Amaretto
- Dark rum
- Bacardi 151
- Pineapple juice
- Cream of coconut (coco lopez prefered)
- Ice
- Cherries (if you're classy)
- A blender
- Cups (unless you're a savage)
Ugh, a blender? Really? Wow, that's a lot of stuff.
It is. Why do you think these things cost upwards of $16?
If you're looking at the ingredients and thinking to yourself that this looks familiar, then it may be because you like piña coladas (and gettin caught in the rain). A rocket fuel is really just a modified version of this classic.
Here are the steps you need follow to make this pipe dream of an alcoholic concoction a reality:
- Set up your blender (I know this may take some of you a while)
- Add ice to blender
- Add pineapple juice and cream of coconut
- Add liberal amounts of dark rum and half
- Divide the amount of rum you put in by two – put in that much amaretto
- BLEND!
- Pour your almost completed rocket fuel into cups
- Add a Bacardi 151 floater to each cup
- Garnish with a cherry
- Enjoy and repeat until you become incapable of doing so
There you are. Now you're ready to be the coolest person in your group of friends (or you're ready to have a really awesome party by yourself), and you don't even need to visit Fire Island.
Have a nice summer!