How To ACTUALLY Shit In The Woods
Reading Time: 2 minutes When I spoke to you last regarding how to shit in the woods, I was speaking from a researched position as opposed to one grounded in empirical evidence.
Now, after three long weeks of using the Pacific Crest Trail litter box, I have the information you actually need when taking a shit in the woods.
First things first, the urge to make poo will always strike at the least opportune moment when no acceptable space exists for you to do the deed. You will always be in the middle of a five-mile-long traverse across a steep ridge on both sides of the trail. And this is not the urge you get when you’re sitting at home watching Law and Order reruns. You can’t just tell it to go away. You are working, and you are sweating, and it is coming now whether you are ready or not.
I know that one of these days, I will end up dropping one in the middle of the trail (I apologize in advance to anyone unfortunate enough to witness this event).
The next thing you need to bear in mind is that your squat position is very important. You risk pooping in your pants if you are not careful – and that is pooping into your pants once they are down (not in your pants while you are still wearing them – although this is also possible).
Do not try the butt hover or half-squat – they are ineffective. Dig your hole and fully commit yourself, trust the technique.
Another problem posed by toilet-less bathroom goings-to is that if you are a sit-and-enjoy type (like myself), you will find your style quite cramped when flies and dirt threaten your most sacred of holes (yes, sacred, it is known). This usually means a second bout of outdoor school anywhere from twenty minutes to two hours after initial expulsion.
Lastly, and most importantly, always, always, always ensure that you have sufficient toilet paper prior to committing yourself to the deed. Ever run out of paper at home and have to call a roommate or do that most uncomfortable of waddles? It is 1000 times worse out in the bush.
I agree! Squat deep low. Train until you master the technique. It took me less than a week. Do not try the butt hover or half-squat. The risk of spoiling your clothes is too high. I know from (bad) experience.
I have never had to drop a deuce in the middle of the trail. However, I must admit that I occasionally not have succeeded in getting the ideal 200 feet away from the trail before the urge has forced me to duck into the squat position.
When in such a hurry, the risk of mishaps is extremely high, for example missing the woman coming down the slope behind, when instead concentrating upon spotting people possibly deviating from the nearby trail in the opposite direction. Luckily she was equipped as a real thru-hiker. I hope and believe that she could forgive my involuntary, though indecent, exposure. Besides, I guess all thru-hiker occasionally face such challenges.
Where do you poop if you’re above tree line in the Sierras? eg. on the way up to Mt. Whitney where there’ just ROCK.
There is no pooping permitted in the Whitney Zone – you are required to carry a wag bag and pack out your poop. Wag bags should also be used elsewhere in the Sierra where poop cannot be buried and where it won’t break down naturally.