Everybody hates seagulls. Everybody. And if you are sitting there thinking to yourself, "now just a second there, I like seagulls" then you are wrong - they suck. That said, I am grateful that I have yet to see a seagull in Brazil (or to hear their annoying squawk - god dammit I hate
The Dengue Fever (Yes, It Kills You)
For any of you thinking of traveling to Brazil, there is something you should know (something that everyone conveniently forgot to tell me before I arrived here). What is this thing? It is the dengue fever (dankey for short). What is the dengue fever? Besides a potentially life-threatening
The Prostitutes of Copacabana
I have been lucky enough to always find myself with favorable neighbors, and thankfully Rio de Janeiro is no different. It turns out that I have some of the hardest working neighbors in the city, and they can frequently be found earning their living providing valuable services to the community
Learning To Use The Toilet In Brazil
There is something that all of us do (yes, all of us) that is rarely talked about, and has even become taboo in certain circles. No, I am not talking about listening to Miley Cyrus or even farting and blaming it on the dog; I am talking about number two (yes, that kind). It has become common
Guide To Public Transportation In Rio de Janeiro
You are in Leme, Rio de Janeiro. You want to go to Leblon. What do you do? If you said, "don't go outside" because you are afraid of being robbed, then you are likely one of the dozens of people I spoke to regarding safety prior to coming to Brazil (and you would also be wrong). The correct
Domino’s Pizza in Brazil
Thank the gods (mostly Dionysus)! Brazil has Domino's Pizza (quite possibly the best pizza money can buy). I was recently compelled to order two gigante pizzas from Brazil Domino's to satiate my appetite for delicious greasy wholesomeness. However, you will all be very sad to learn that the
Beer In Brazil: Cerveja Part Dois
I return to this subject having learned a lot about our dear friend Senhor Cerveja no Brasil. There are, in fact, more beers than I initially presumed; however, the playing field is still relatively shallow. I have discovered that buying beers one at a time is quite handy in trying many beers
The Beach – A Poem
Watching Jet Li movies dubbed in Portuguese summons up a strange feeling in me, and so I decided to write you all a poem. The beach has the sun. The beach has the moon. The beach has umbrellas. The beach has chairs. The beach has the sunset. The beach has the sunrise. The beach has snack
A Trip To Cachoeira dos Primatats
Most people associate Rio de Janeiro with its beaches (or women, or drugs, or this song, or Cristo Redentor), but opposite the beaches, Rio is surrounded by jungle (yes, there are monkeys in there). Let us say (and for the record when I start something with "Let us say..." I am inventing a