Everybody hates seagulls. Everybody.
And if you are sitting there thinking to yourself, “now just a second there, I like seagulls” then you are wrong – they suck.
That said, I am grateful that I have yet to see a seagull in Brazil (or to hear their annoying squawk – god dammit I hate seagulls). However, Rio de Janeiro presents a new problem: beach pigeons.
These fowl creatures (get it?) match the aggressiveness of a seagull, but instead of squawking they make that hideous cooing sound which reminds me only of dirty city streets filled with trash (and more pigeons). I know that most of them are probably working as favela drug mules and spend their off days at the beach to prey on unsuspecting tourists' food and self-respect, but that does not mean I should have to lay nearly naked on the sand in my sunga and put up with their bullshit.
I propose the introduction of beach cats (large or small) to help us deal with this problem.