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14 Products Japan Almost Got Right (And 4 They Did)

By Mac 3 Comments

English has established itself as the dominant force in the global communication sphere, and as a result you can find it on everything from subway signs to strip club advertisements across the world.

In some countries, consumers see English is seen as cool or exotic, and advertisers have taken notice of this trend amongst their customers (similar to the American obsession with tattooing themselves with kanji or the Brazilian obsession with tribal tattoos).

For some reason, I expected the English in Japan to be flawless in its execution, but I could not have been more misguided (it was entertaining to say the least). The following is a showcase of products that at one point someone decided would be enhanced with English words. Are these words meaningful in their arrangement? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Are they incredibly entertaining to come across in the wild? Yes they are.

Japanese Ash Tray 1
I don’t even know.
Japanese Ash Tray 2
I see what you’re going for here, I think.
Japanese Fashion 1
Found at a “trendy” clothing store – now you dress up as Bill from Sysco Food Systems! Only $30!
Japanese Fashion 2
Don’t like Bill? Try dressing up as Jose from Miller Lite!
Korean Dinning Menu
Korean restaurant in Japan – so close.
Japanese Toy Knife
A great surprise indeed.
Japanese Shop Writing
They have their word order down, but the excessive use of single quotes kills it. & why is Fun capitalized?
Japanese Hat 2
It’s like they took quotes from the cover of an outdoors magazine.
Japanese Hat 1
INSTINCTIVELY!
Japanese Handbag 2
Not sure what this means, but it does make me very excited.
Japanese Handbag 1
So inspirational.
Baby In This Car Sign
Admittedly, this makes perfect sense, but you must admit that the addition of “this” sounds very unnatural.

Redemption!

As entertaining as it is when translation goes awry, by the same token, some translations prove superior to a native speaker’s take on things.

The following products found on Japanese shelves do a fantastic job incorporating the English language, and as a result they won my favor, and my business.

Cat Smack
Cat Smack – it’s like crack, but for cats.
Happy Time Lotion
Happy Time Lotion – yes, very happy time indeed.
Happy Towel
Happy Towel – perfect for use in conjunction with Happy Time Lotion.
Super Big Boy Condoms
Super Big Boy Condoms, because nothing says “giant penis” like a horse.

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