Finding And Befriending Primates In Rio de Janeiro

Word on the street is that there are monkeys in Rio de Janeiro.

Word on the street is that there are monkeys on the street in Rio de Janeiro.

Hearing this made me very uneasy at first, given monkeys and I have had a very complicated relationship over the years, but I think that we will finally be able to put our differences aside and make the most of our new living arrangements. Thus far, I have only spotted one of the small squirrel-like primates known as “micos”, but apparently larger species are also lurking around the city’s various neighborhoods.

Be assured that whilst in Brazil I plan to hunt capture, eat and ultimately befriend (post asserting my dominance as a human) as many of our genetically similar counterparts as possible. Also, note that creationism and intelligent design are both lies (and unconvincing lies at that) and should have no place in public schools (or really any school for that matter).

Be proud of the ancestry you share with the monkeys of the world (and then eat them).